Confession #2: God has been doing so much in the life of our church that I’ve  reached the place where I just can’t keep it in any longer. So I’ve decided to take another run at posting a Sunday recap and from time to time sharing some thoughts and lessons that I learn on this great adventure with God.

The Big Recap (8/15/2010)

• Started our new series today called Collision. The big idea for the day is that there are two kingdoms trying to coexist in your life and there is only  room for one.
• So proud of how the people of Five Stones are giving to make an impact. Our month of July giving was actually larger than our December. For those new in church life that never happens. July is always your worst month of the year in terms of giving.
• The past two Sundays we have had as many visitors as we had for Easter Sunday. People are hearing about what God is doing and are coming to take their next step with God.
• Just learned that some of our students have started a non-profit group to help children in need. Love how they are embracing God’s Kingdom.
• I can’t wait to see what God does with our church this Fall. I just have this feeling that we are about to explode as a church with our impact in the community.
• Loved seeing our students on the front rows this morning leading out in worship. I hope they continue to push us as a church in our expression of worship to Christ.
• Life Groups start back in a few weeks and this in my opinion is the heart and soul of our church. You can’t experience community in rows, community happens in circles. Get signed up for a Life Group.
• Blown away with our new setup of booths around the worship pit. Ralph and Leslie and their teams are so creative. Its great as a leader when you can sit back and say the reason that is great is because I had nothing to do with it.
• Who would have thoughts that we would have over 40 people coming out every Monday night in August to walk through Wayne Grudem Systematic Theology Book? The fact is when we get our theology of God correct so many things fall into place.
• I’ll close with my favorite part of the day: Breaking down and stacking the chairs in the worship area with my 9 year old son. Once again I was able to demonstrate and talk about why we Invest Now as Christ Followers. If your not serving with your child you are missing out on a huge blessing.
• Second favorite part of the day: Listening to Ralph tell the story of the Props that we used this morning bouncing down Providence Road in the middle of the night. Talk about Collision.
  
  

I once read a quote  from TD Jakes where he said, “you can tell what someone is getting ready to build based upon the type of equipment around the job site.”  He says that if you roll up on a job site and see giant excavators and cranes you can rest assured that they aren’t gonna build a chicken coup.  In the same way you can look at the heavy equipment that God has placed around you and get a glimpse into what He is wanting to build. All I can say is that I’m beginning to see some big equipment roll up to Five Stones Church.

Today we experienced our first Communion together as a church. Of course we did it in a uniquely Five Stones way. I love what the Message says in 1 Cor. 11 .

“What you must solemnly realize is that every time you eat this bread and every time you drink this cup, you reenact in your words and actions the death of the Master. You will be drawn back to this meal again and again until the Master returns. You must never let familiarity breed contempt.”

What an incredible gifted team that I get to serve with. We completely transformed our room into stations to take the Lord Supper. Each station was covered with chains, pieces of mirror, and broken pots.

The pots represented something that we were broken from.

The mirror was how we see ourselves

The chains represented the burdens/sin that we carry

Each person was given time to examine their hearts and reflect on what God wanted to do in their lives. They were then to take those pieces and lay them at the altar. It was an incredibel site to see hundreds of people doing business with God today.

I love watching people’s faces every time  we sing “How He Loves Us”.

So proud of how the people of Five Stones is Engaging the Culture. I was telling someone today that one day we are going to come to church and see about a thousand people show up. God has been bringing so many new people to our church each and every week.

Don’t forget to invite someone to Easter Service.

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,for love is strong as death, a jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. (SOS 8:6-7)

We drilled home the three Hebrews words for love and described those as the flashes of fire that need to be in every marriage. God created our marriages to have these three flames. It is only when these three flames our burning that our marriage flame is at its brightest. At the close of the message people were encouraged to offer God up an offering on something that needed to be changed in their life as a result of this message. They actually wrote out prayers on an index card. As they walked out the door they were to drop those cards in several fire-pits that we had around the campus. Each married couple was also given a devotional to work through that night. Each devotional had three candles that represented the three flames.
At one point during the invitation we had people four deep at the altar. It was just one of those special days where God’s presence is unmistakable. I think one of the biggest truths that was spoken was that the spouse you have is God’s best for you. I also had to gave a warning this week that children under 6th grade should not be in the service. At first no one moved until I hit SOS 8:5. Thankful that those parents took their children to Discover Factory and then came back in to hear the message. Can’t wait to hear how the marriage devotions went this week.

If you want to hear the message go to our Five Stones Vimeo Page

Four Deadly Sins of Marriage. Dr. John Gottman of University of Washington, one of the foremost marriage researchers, claims he can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a couple will divorce. In his storied “love lab,” Gottman studies how couples interact, particularly how they communicate with each other in heated moments. After 30 years of research, he has pinpointed four behaviors that seem to invariably spell disaster in any marriage.

Fox #1: Criticism
The most common horseman that emerges in long-term relationships is criticism. Frustrations, annoyances and resentment inevitably build up when couples live together — day in and day out. And criticism can be how these emotions manifest in the heat of an argument.
Note that criticism differs from complaining. Criticism focuses on the person. Complaining focuses on the behavior. This may seem like subtle nuance but research shows it is a distinction that makes a significant difference in the long term. For example, this is a critical statement: “You always drive around in circles. You are an awful driver with a terrible sense of direction.” These words are dripping with blame and accusation. They are a personal attack.
Unlike criticism, complaining has more to do with how the other person’s behavior makes you feel. Complaining usually begins with an “I” instead of “you”: “I get so frustrated when you are driving and don’t know where you are going.” See the difference?

Fox #2: Contempt
You’re an idiot. You can’t do anything right. You make me sick. These contemptuous words have no place in any relationship you value. They are meant to explicitly humiliate or wound. They are toxic and indefensible. Contempt includes but is not limited to name-calling, hostility and sarcasm. Keep in mind that contempt can also be conveyed non-verbally. An excessively harsh tone or disgusted eye roll can escalate your garden-variety argument into WWIII in the blink of an eye. Avoid contempt in your arguments at all cost. It is the basest, most childish tactic to resort to in a fight. Strive to respect your wife even when you disagree or feel upset with her. Contempt is like a poison. It will single-handedly erode intimacy. It destroys a sense of security and mutual respect. It does real damage because it makes a partner feel belittled and unloved.

Fox #3: Defensiveness
Criticism+Contempt=Defensiveness. Defensive statements become practically an involuntary reflex in homes where contempt and criticism are regular visitors. It is understandable. After all, who wouldn’t put up their guard in response to an accusatory, belittling spouse? Defensiveness is fundamentally a self-preserving tactic.
As understandable as this response can be, it is still hugely destructive. It builds walls. Rather than allow room for connectedness, the foundation for conflict resolution, it tends to breed emotional distance. Defensiveness blocks healing and forgiveness.

Fox #4: Stonewalling
Because stonewalling is not explicitly aggressive, couples often underestimate its destructive potential. But it can be just as devastating to a relationship in its passiveness. It is, in effect, giving up. It is withdrawing emotionally. It is essentially closing the door to a resolution. Stonewallers withdraw partly because they can feel overwhelmed with emotion. They may keep their faces expressionless, avoid eye contact, hold their posture rigid, avoid any signs of listening such as nodding or encouraging sounds. They radiate icy distance and disapproval to their partners.

Now that you know the four deadly foxes you need to commit to wage war against them when they show up in your marriage. God desires for us to be Servant Lovers in our marriages. That means that we are Givers just like our God. SO instead of trying to change your spouse look for the areas that God needs to change in you. If you found this message helpful please pass it along to a friend or invite them to come out to Five Stones next week.

• Had a surprise visit from the legendary Dr.Love! Can’t explain it, you just had to have been there.
• Leslie and her crew did an incredible job of setting the environment to kick off the series. She nailed it with the over the top Valentine Decorations.
• Made the point that God loves marriage. In fact the Bible begins with a marriage and it will end with a marriage.
• In our culture we are brought up to believe a lie and the lie is that our marriages will be a perfect love story. What happens when the fairy tell hits the fan. We begin to wonder did I marry the right person or what are we doing wrong.
• The truth is marriage is incredible hard even for the best couples. God uses our marriages to bring attention to the areas that he wants to change in our loves.

Here are just a few points from Chapter 1

• Your wife should be your standard of beauty.
• Your spouse needs to know that they are a priority in your life. That gets played out by spending time together.
• Always be looking for opportunities to compliment your spouse. Be specific!
• We need friends that build up our marriage and not ones that tear it down.
• It’s Biblical for a man to have a recliner in the house.
• How can you make your home an Oasis (Engedi) from the world?
• Focus on providing a home full of love.
• Remember that there is a battle being waged against your marriage. The fury of hell has been unleashed against your marriage because God loves marriage.

Was so encouraged to see the amount of couples at the altar doing business with God today. I also loved looking out by the time we closed and seeing couples holding one another during the worship time. I hope Five Stones becomes know as an incubator for healthy/godly marriages.

Blessed beyond measure to celebrate my 15th Valentine’s Day with Shelly. My banner over her is Love.

If you found today’s service helpful make sure to invite a couple with you for next week as we deal with the Foxes that come to ruin our relationships.

Pressure Point Questions for Married Couples:

1. Is there anything about my character that you find unattractive?
2. Is there anything that I could to be more attractive to you?
3. Is there something new and fun that we could start doing together that we both would enjoy?
4. Are there any names that I call you that you find hurtful?
5. Do I have any friends that you feel hurt our marriage?
6. What does an Oasis at our home like like to you?
7. Are you satisfied with the frequency of our intimacy?
8. What is one compliment that you want to hear from me?

• Have to begin by saying what a blessing it was to be able to baptize my children Lily and Cooper today. Just four years ago I was able to baptize my parents. I cannot begin to express the emotions I had when saying to my children in the water today, “Have you accepted the God of your Grandparents, and the God of your Parents, the God who has been and will always be? May this chain of faith continue in our family for several generations. I also almost lost it when I asked my children if they had committed to live for Christ the rest of their lives and they said, “Yes Daddy!”
• Today we baptized 20 plus people from every age range to every story imaginable. Amazing to see how God is working from the children to our adults. So pumped to be able to baptize not only children but also the men that God is taking to the next level in our church.
• Our worship team hit another home-run as they led us in worship today.
• So proud to watch our partners jump up to fill a need no matter how big or how small.
• Today was another huge milestone for Five Stones as we broke the 500 barrier for the first time on a regular Sunday. I’m not sure we could have fit many more chairs in our worship area.
• After the service I literally lost count of the amount of people saying that God was leading them to be baptized at our next baptism service on May 2nd.
• Sat in my car today and just had tears of unworthiness pour out thinking of all that God is doing in the lives of people at Five Stones and in our community. I never dreamed that we would be making such a difference in the community so soon. I also had tears thinking about how many people are still left to reach in our community.
• Next week is our 6 month anniversary and God has allowed us to see so many professions of faith, 40 people baptized, and have broken the 500 barrier twice now. He has allowed us to have favor in the community and with the City Officials which has opened the door for us to minister to so many people.
• Thought it was a perfect ending for us today as our church closed in prayer lifting up Derwin Grey’s new church start up in Indian Land, SC.  Today Transformation Church Launched and we pray that God does incredible things in Indian Land through those folks. Check out their website and drop them an e-mail to encourage them.
• Announced our next series which begins next week called “Explosive Love.” We will walk through the Book of Song of Songs and learn about what God has to say about dating, marriage, sex, and how to keep the fire alive in your marriage. Invite a friend and get there early because we are running out of seats each week.

My good friend Larry Grays had this posted on his blog. http://larrygrays.blogspot.com

FLOYD DOUD SHAFER Christianity Today, March 27, 1961
Here it is in taunting simplicity: Make him a minister of the Word! But what does that mean? What could be more esoteric? Very well, we will say it with more passionate bluntness. Fling him into his office, tear the office sign from the door and nail on the sign:STUDY. Take him off the mailing list, lock him up with his books (get him all kinds of books) and his typewriter and his Bible. Slam him down on his knees before texts, broken hearts, and the flippant lives of a superficial flock, and the Holy God. Throw him into the ring to box with God till he learns how short his arms are: engage him to wrestle with God all the night through. Let him come out only when he is bruised and beaten into being a blessing. Set a time clock on him that will imprison him with thought and writing about God for 40 hours a week. Shut his garrulous mouth forever spouting “remarks” and stop his tongue always tripping lightly over everything non-essential. Require him to have something to say before he dare break silence. Bend his knees in the lonesome valley, fire him from the PTA and cancel his country club membership: burn his eyes with weary study, wreck his emotional poise with worry for God, and make him exchange his pious stance for a humble walk with God and man. Make him spend and be spent for the glory of God.

Rip out his telephone, burn up his ecclesiastical success sheets, refuse his glad hand, and put water in the gas tank of his community buggy. Give him a Bible and tie him to his pulpit and make him preach the Word of the Living God. Test him, quiz him and examine him: humiliate him for his ignorance of things divine, and shame him for his glib comprehension of finances, batting averages, and political infighting. Laugh at his frustrated effort to play psychiatrist, scorn his insipid morality, refuse his supine intelligence, ignore his broadmindedness which is only flat headedness, and compel him to be a minister of the Word. If he wants to be gracious, challenge him rather to be a product of the rough grace of God. If he dotes on being pleasing, demand that he please God and not man. If he wants to be unctuous, ask him to make sounds with a tongue on which a Holy Flame has rested. If he wants to be a manager, insist rather that he be a manikin for God, a being who is illustrative of the purpose and will of God.

Form a choir and raise a chant and haunt him with it night and day: “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” When, at long last, he dares assay the pulpit, ask him if he has a word from God: if he does not, then dismiss him and tell him you can read the morning paper, digest the television commentaries, think through the day’s superficial problems, manage the community’s myriad drives, and bless assorted baked potatoes and green beans ad infinitum better than he can. Command him not to come back until he has read and re-read, written and re-written, until he can stand up, worn and forlorn, and say, “Thus saith the Lord!” Break him across the board of his ill-gotten popularity, smack him hard with his own prestige, corner him with questions about God, and cover him with demands for celestial wisdom, and give him no escape until he is backed against the wall of the Word: then sit down before him and listen to the only word he has left: God’s Word. Let him be totally ignorant of the down-street gossip, but give him a chapter and order him to walk around it, camp on it, suffer with it, and come at last to speak it backwards and forwards until all he says about it rings with the truth of eternity. Ask him to produce living credentials that he has been and is true father in his own home before you allow him license to play father to all and sundry. Demand to be shown that his love is deep, strong, and secure among those nearest and dearest to him before he is given contract to share the superfluity of his affability with all sorts and conditions of persons. Examine his manse whether it be a seminary of faith, hope, learning, and love or a closet of fretting, doubt, dogmatism, and temper; if it be the latter, the quarantine him in it for praying, crying, and conversion, and then let him go forth converted, to convert.

Mold him relentlessly into a man forever bowed but never cowed before the unconcealed truth which he has labored to reveal, and let him hang flung against the destiny of almighty God; let his soul be stripped bare before the onrushing purposes of God, and let him be lost, doomed, and done that his God alone be all in all. Let him, in himself, be sign and symbol that everything human is lost, that Grace comes through loss; and make him the illustration that Grace alone is amazing, sufficient, and redemptive. Let him be transparent to God’s grace, God himself. And when he is burned out by the flaming Word that coursed through him, when he is consumed at last by the fiery Grace blazing through him, and when he who was privileged to translate the truth of God to man is finally translated from earth to heaven, then bear him away gently, blow a muted trumpet and lay him down softly, place a two-edged sword on his coffin and raise a tune triumphant, for he was a brave soldier of the Word and e’er he died he had become spokesman of his God.

And who shall return us to this ministry? “Therein the patient must minister to himself.”

• There are dimensions of our glorious King that will never be revealed to the casual, disinterested worshiper. Fasting makes you step back and you become hungry for more of what God has for you.
• Fasting is one of the primary ways to bring renewal into your spiritual life.
• Need to remove King Stomach from the throne of our lives.
• Reminder not to settle for a diet of just “church as normal”. As I’ve learned hungry people are desperate people.
• Matthew 6: Gives the pattern for how a child of God is to live. The pattern speaks of three duties of the Child of God; When you give….When you pray…When you Fast.
• When you remove food from the diet for several days your spirit becomes uncluttered by the things of th world and you become sensitive to God’s voice.
• Asking for the favor of God to be upon Five Stones Church. There are so many people that need to encounter God’s unconditional love in the Waxhaw/Weddington Area.

Its not to late to join the Five Stones Awakening Challenge. Pray about doing a one day Fast or take a fast from tv, media, etc. Use that time to seek after the Lord.

• We set records in attendance in both our Wonderland and Discover Factory Zone. Blown away that God is sending us so many families with children.
• The place was packed during the 10:30am worship. Thought we had a chance to run out of chairs.
• Felt like we turned the corner on going all out in our worship today. Loved how everyone was singing and really going after it. Plus it never gets old seeing that many people at the altar doing business with God.
• Had great responses from people about the message today. The main challenge was not to waste your life on the wrong path. Don’t waste another minute make a course change.
• Had a great lunch with 20 families that are wanting to partner with Five Stones.
• The Big News today was the launch of our Life Groups. Find out more information on the Five Stones Site.
• Our two trips to Africa this summer are filling up fast. If you are interested get signed up quick. Kenya Trip
• So excited about the number of folks who started the 21 days Daniel Fast with us today. If you still want to take this challenge its not to late. Click on this site to find out more info on the fast. Hang in there if you are fasting the first 5-7 days are the hardest.
• Love the new technology that we are using with Youversion live to bring the service to your Smart Phone in real time. Click here to see the Youversion of the service
• Wish I had more time to spend in the halls because I love hearing the stories of people coming back to the church or coming for the first time. I love hearing how the Five Stones Community is engaging culture. That they are actively living out their faith and changing the community.
• Please mark your calendars for Feb.7th as our church holds its second baptism service. This service will blow you away as you listen to what God is doing in people’s lives. We will actually bring in a portable baptism pool and place it in the middle of our worship area. You’ve never experiences anything like this.
• Last but not least a big thank-you for Waxhaw Baptist Church who loaned us a projector this morning when ours went out minutes before our service started. Love it when Churches are so Kingdom Focused.